When It Rains....it Pours.

You know that old saying? Yeah, I'm there. In the flood without an umbrella. I've been feeling so overwhelmed from the arm surgery's, biopsy's, and illnesses that plagued our family for weeks. I keep saying, "now this better be it for awhile, I think I've reached my limit!" And it never is "it".

Saturday, I broke my foot. People's first reaction to that is, "Oh man! How did you do that?!" And I respond by saying I wish I had a really heroic or cool story to tell like, "My foot was run over while I was trying to save one of our boys from being hit." Or, "I was playing a game of baseball and as I was sliding into home base and bringing in the victory point for my team, I smashed my foot into the base." No such luck. The real scenario? We were running late for Tyler's 8am soccer game this past Saturday. If you take the one way in, it takes us way out of the way from the field Tyler plays at. But there is a nice, fairly short chain link fence you can hop and his field is right there! I cleared it the week before, no problem. Tyler was already over when I began my climb. I guess my flip flops (yes I was attempting to climb a fence in flip flops...it worked the week before!) were wider then the week before and wouldn't fit in the hole. My foot slipped off, twisted to the side when it landed in the slope sideways, and loudly crunched. CRUNCHED!!! I was definitely in shock and denial that I had heard such an awful sound. I had Tyler run to his field and then attempted to flag Craig down who was a ways away with the little ones. He didn't get my frantic mouthing that I was in pain so I made my way over. Long story short, I told him that I wanted to "wait it out" instead of rushing to urgent care. I sat three hours on the field through both kids games with no pain medication. Then I went home and just walked on the inside of my foot, still being stubborn about not going in (ME stubborn?)

But in the morning I finally let it sink in...the sound. If it weren't for the sound I wouldn't have been sure...maybe a sprain or something. So we went to urgent care to confirm it was indeed broken. I was to see a Podiatrist the next day. To add insult to injury (no pun intended!) Craig was leaving for New Jersey (his companies headquarters) early the next day. His trip had been planned for awhile, we thought I would just get casted, worst case scenario, and I would just figure out how to get by.

Not so easy (as if taking care of 3 little boys on crutches would have been). I went in with Jacob on Monday thinking it wouldn't take long, after all, I already had the x-rays with me. Right. The Dr. looks at the x-rays and tells me there is bad news and worse news. Definitely not what I wanted to hear. Bad news, it was indeed broken. Worse news it was also dislocated and needed surgery. I must have stared at him with a look of utter shock, terror and disbelief because he started asking me if I was OK. He ordered more x-rays to be sure and showed me that it was even more dislocated then it had been the day before. He did ultrasounds on the good and bad foot and showed me the huge difference. Good foot, nice and bright. Bad foot white and cloudy which means swollen and filled with blood. He would have done surgery even sooner, but he said it was so bad that he couldn't touch it yet. He then explained when they do the surgery, it will be to open the foot up, clean out the pooled blood and then place screws into the dislocated bone to help it heal straight. They might possibly have to put a plate in as well.

So, I go in this Thursday at 1:30 and I am terrified. I'm trying to keep from panicking but I'm just so scared and overwhelmed. After the cancer stuff I was SO ready to not be touched with a needle or any sharp objects for a long time. I go from disbelief that this is happening to getting very angry that it did. I'm trying not to dwell on all my fears because I feel myself getting depressed. Worried about the 6to 8 weeks of recovery. Being on crutches all that time when I'm already bruising on my sides and hands. The pain of the surgery, of being cut open. Of being out of commission with three small children....

So please, pray for me. For peace that I will get through this next trial without losing it. That my blood draw today in preparation for the surgery goes well and they get a vain the first time. That I will feel minimal pain from the surgery...iv's started well, not notice the shots in my foot...and that the pain meds would work after. And just that some of my fear might be taken from me...again I'm just so scared.

Thankfully Craig will be home tomorrow afternoon instead of late Thursday night as originally planned. No thanks to his airline that would neither move his flight or refund his money. He is such an amazing husband though and I could not be more thankful to have him then I am now! He's been so upset to not be with me during all of this and we look forward to his return!

Thank you in advance for your prayers!

Heidi