Tuesday, September 30, 2008

May the Best Story Win...

So I have been getting lot's of questions from those I know and from complete strangers as well. They all want to know what happened to my foot and how I did it. I always say I wish I had a better story to tell...one of bravery or one that's just plain cool. So that's where you come in! Come up with an awesome story of how I came to dislocate/break my foot and leave it in my comment section under this blog. After a few days I'll try and have a vote for the Best Story and that's the one I'll tell people (first anyway!)when they ask! Hopefully this will pull some more of you lurkers out as well...come out come out where ever you are! This could be a lot of fun!

May the best story win!=0)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Our Past Days in Snapshots.

I made it to Tyler's first Awards Ceremony of the year where he received an award for being a "Creative Toucan". It was the morning the day of the surgery and I was so grateful to be there! We are so proud of our little artist!!=0)

This is Tyler's First Grade teacher, Mrs. Lance.

After the surgery Susie sent me a beautiful basket of fruit from Edible Arrangements. So SWEET (literally!) Thank you so much my friend!!

I was having a hard time sitting around and focusing so much on the pain in my foot today so I went and watched the boys soccer games. Great memories of the week before! Ugh! Really though, thanks to the invention of the wheelchair for that trip! I enjoyed being able to see the boys play!

A Pain in the Foot...

This whole experience has been a "pain in the neck" or rather a "pain in the foot!" I wanted to post earlier to let those keeping up with me through the blog know how things are, but I have been in a lot of pain. Not to mention being quite "out of it".

I'll start with the surgery. They took me in on time which was good. After waiting all day with great anticipation and an empty stomach I was ready to be done with that stage in the process. We informed the nurse, as we always do, that I am a hard "stick". Rather that it is difficult to get an Iv going on me. Like most nurses, he was quite sure of himself and declared that he would definitely get it on the first try. He told me not to move and then quite forcefully shoved the needle into my vain. This made me jump from the pain and the force. He then accused me of moving too much and said he had lost the vain....but then decided he would try shoving the needle around just to make sure. I had been trying to hold it all together for days and I guess that was the last straw. I just began sobbing. And couldn't stop. I have had such bad experiences with needles and was just so tired at that point, I couldn't hold it together anymore. He quickly decided he wasn't going to try again and would leave the job for the anesthesiologist.

When she finally came in, she was wondering why I wasn't ready to go but saw me crying and went to work at once to find a good vain. She was much more kind, gentle and motherly. Unfortunately the only good vain she could find was in my hand. She did get it the first time but had to do a bit of digging as well and almost lost that one. Thank God it took! She then gave me some meds in my IV to help calm me down as I was still very shaken. And wow did those burn! After that they told me I could walk to the surgery room. Really? Seriously? Walk to the surgery room? With the IV in my hand and the BROKEN FOOT I'm having surgery on? My goodness...so the staff was a bit...interesting.

Thankfully the Dr. seems to be very good. I feel comfortable with him and he is very caring. When I was finally in the surgery room they hooked me up to all of the monitors. Then I started to feel sleepy but was still awake enough to attempt to ask questions. Without meaning to I often fight medications that make me sleepy....I guess it's the feeling of losing control. Before I was completely out though I did feel the shots in my foot...all of them. I just remember saying. "Ow...ow...ow..." until it was over. And the crazy thing is I don't even remember falling asleep or waking up exactly. A very weird feeling. I remember feeling like someone was bandaging my foot up and thinking, "well that can't be right, that was only about 15 minutes!" But when I looked at the clock, it had actually been nearly an hour and a half! Thank goodness for modern medicine! Soon after the Dr. came over to tell me the surgery went well. The injuries were more extensive then he thought and there was quite a lot of blood, but he thinks he performed a perfect surgery. When I opened my eyes again it was to the Dr. saying I had a visitor and Craig was at my side, stroking my hair and arm as I went in and out of consciousness.

At home I was able to lay on the couch and rest all night. I was still super groggy from the anesthesia. My best friends parents, Linda and Dave, had taken care of the kids during the surgery and had dinner waiting for us when we returned. Such a huge help and a big load off of our shoulders! With their help, the night went smoothly with the kids fed, bathed and off to bed.

Friday morning I woke up in a great amount of pain. The shots had worn off and I had not woken up in the middle of the night to take my pain meds. I didn't think it was necessary. It was! I have been trying since then to gain control over the pain, even waking last night to take the meds. I wish I could report that I feel OK, but it really hurts. Much more then I thought it would. It burns and the foot is so tightly bandaged I can't cool it down with ice packs. I just pray that the pain will decrease everyday!

And if you do pray, please pray that I would stay strong and that depression would not set in. I am overwhelmed with how I am going to get through the next few months of healing. How I am going to keep the house clean, my family fed, get to the grocery store, take my kids to school, take showers, etc. Last night I had to miss a concert for Habitat For Humanity that I had been looking forward to for months. Today a festival that we had been also planning on attending for months. It is hard for me to be out of control. To sit by while other "do". Thank you for your prayers!

On the bight side Susie sent me a beautiful gift from Edible Arrangements that literally made me cry! It was such a bright spot in my dreary day! And I thank you to all who have sent me comments through email, this blog and facebook! I really appreciate each one and they always make me feel better! Hopefully I will get to posting a few pictures soon! Thanks for reading about my journey.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

An Attempt for the Positive

In an attempt to fight the growing fear about tomorrow and my long recovery ahead, I thought I would try and think about the "positives" of one breaking and dislocating their foot!

1. No waiting in lines at Disneyland and I get my friends and family in front as well! Now we may actually get to go on the new "Toy Story" ride at DCA!

2. I get to see how many wonderful and caring friends and family I have.

3. I am going to have some pretty buff arms at the end of all this and ONE buff leg! (literally one....not excited about what the other one is going to look like...but this is supposed to be positive, right?)

4. I may finally lose those 10+ pounds I've been struggling with...those crutches are beastly!

5. Getting to hear my sweet boys pray for my healing. And hear Zachary talk about my using "stitches" to walk.=0)

6. I'll probably get more reading done in the next few months.

7. When I get tired I'll have a wheelchair to ride in...I've always joked about wishing I could ride in the stroller after a long night at Disneyland!

Well, that was my attempt. I should probably go and try to lay down now. That's usually when the full fledged panic sets in. When all the thoughts coming tumbling in with the silence. I just pray that God gives me rest, that sleep would come quickly and that this time tomorrow would be here before I know it. Thank you again for your prayers they helped me get through this day!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

When It Rains....it Pours.

You know that old saying? Yeah, I'm there. In the flood without an umbrella. I've been feeling so overwhelmed from the arm surgery's, biopsy's, and illnesses that plagued our family for weeks. I keep saying, "now this better be it for awhile, I think I've reached my limit!" And it never is "it".

Saturday, I broke my foot. People's first reaction to that is, "Oh man! How did you do that?!" And I respond by saying I wish I had a really heroic or cool story to tell like, "My foot was run over while I was trying to save one of our boys from being hit." Or, "I was playing a game of baseball and as I was sliding into home base and bringing in the victory point for my team, I smashed my foot into the base." No such luck. The real scenario? We were running late for Tyler's 8am soccer game this past Saturday. If you take the one way in, it takes us way out of the way from the field Tyler plays at. But there is a nice, fairly short chain link fence you can hop and his field is right there! I cleared it the week before, no problem. Tyler was already over when I began my climb. I guess my flip flops (yes I was attempting to climb a fence in flip flops...it worked the week before!) were wider then the week before and wouldn't fit in the hole. My foot slipped off, twisted to the side when it landed in the slope sideways, and loudly crunched. CRUNCHED!!! I was definitely in shock and denial that I had heard such an awful sound. I had Tyler run to his field and then attempted to flag Craig down who was a ways away with the little ones. He didn't get my frantic mouthing that I was in pain so I made my way over. Long story short, I told him that I wanted to "wait it out" instead of rushing to urgent care. I sat three hours on the field through both kids games with no pain medication. Then I went home and just walked on the inside of my foot, still being stubborn about not going in (ME stubborn?)

But in the morning I finally let it sink in...the sound. If it weren't for the sound I wouldn't have been sure...maybe a sprain or something. So we went to urgent care to confirm it was indeed broken. I was to see a Podiatrist the next day. To add insult to injury (no pun intended!) Craig was leaving for New Jersey (his companies headquarters) early the next day. His trip had been planned for awhile, we thought I would just get casted, worst case scenario, and I would just figure out how to get by.

Not so easy (as if taking care of 3 little boys on crutches would have been). I went in with Jacob on Monday thinking it wouldn't take long, after all, I already had the x-rays with me. Right. The Dr. looks at the x-rays and tells me there is bad news and worse news. Definitely not what I wanted to hear. Bad news, it was indeed broken. Worse news it was also dislocated and needed surgery. I must have stared at him with a look of utter shock, terror and disbelief because he started asking me if I was OK. He ordered more x-rays to be sure and showed me that it was even more dislocated then it had been the day before. He did ultrasounds on the good and bad foot and showed me the huge difference. Good foot, nice and bright. Bad foot white and cloudy which means swollen and filled with blood. He would have done surgery even sooner, but he said it was so bad that he couldn't touch it yet. He then explained when they do the surgery, it will be to open the foot up, clean out the pooled blood and then place screws into the dislocated bone to help it heal straight. They might possibly have to put a plate in as well.

So, I go in this Thursday at 1:30 and I am terrified. I'm trying to keep from panicking but I'm just so scared and overwhelmed. After the cancer stuff I was SO ready to not be touched with a needle or any sharp objects for a long time. I go from disbelief that this is happening to getting very angry that it did. I'm trying not to dwell on all my fears because I feel myself getting depressed. Worried about the 6to 8 weeks of recovery. Being on crutches all that time when I'm already bruising on my sides and hands. The pain of the surgery, of being cut open. Of being out of commission with three small children....

So please, pray for me. For peace that I will get through this next trial without losing it. That my blood draw today in preparation for the surgery goes well and they get a vain the first time. That I will feel minimal pain from the surgery...iv's started well, not notice the shots in my foot...and that the pain meds would work after. And just that some of my fear might be taken from me...again I'm just so scared.

Thankfully Craig will be home tomorrow afternoon instead of late Thursday night as originally planned. No thanks to his airline that would neither move his flight or refund his money. He is such an amazing husband though and I could not be more thankful to have him then I am now! He's been so upset to not be with me during all of this and we look forward to his return!

Thank you in advance for your prayers!


Monday, September 08, 2008


Soccer season has begun and is in full swing! This is our first year with two players. Since Zachary was two years old and Tyler had his first season, he has been wanting to "have his own soccer". A few practices and two games later he is having a great time! And he has improved so much just during his second game this past Saturday. During his first game two weeks ago, he had a hard time keeping up with the ball, stopped at the edge of the field to run up a hill and take his time to examine a hole in the ground and think about what animals might be living inside, and when the other team took the ball from him he got in their face and very passionately shared his displeasure about it! This past Saturday though he kept up with the ball, didn't yell at anyone and scored his very first
goal!!!! We were so proud of him and he was quite proud of himself!

Tyler had a great game as well. When he first began soccer two years ago at age four, he had no idea what was going on! During the middle of the game he would just lay down in the field for a break. Thankfully he doesn't lay in the field now (although it was funny when he was four!) and he really tries to go after the ball. He loves to hear us cheer and that always makes him run faster. Saturday he was able to try playing goalie for the first time and that really seemed like a good fit for him. He stopped three goals!

So it is going to be a big time commitment but we are exposing our boys to different things, giving them choices. And as long as they are having fun, that's our main goal!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

A Reading Frenzy

While growing up, I was an avid reader. I'm not sure that is even a strong enough term to describe it. I was fully obssesed with reading...I think that is a bit better. For every holiday or birthday, anything that required gifts, I ALWAYS asked for book certificates (remember back before there were gift cards). A stack of books sitting in my room, ready for me to devour, made me giddy.

As life progressed, I somehow fell out of my love for reading. Always so busy, so tired, so now sucked in by TV that never interested me before. Never would have thought it could happen. Now don't get me wrong, I still read over those years, it just wasn't with the same intensity, the same fervor! That is until this past week. Last week I picked up a book that I had been hearing so much buzz about I just couldn't resist. The "Twilight" series has re-awakened that love for me. Over the course of the last week I completed the first, nearly 500 pages and am over 400 pages into the next. Craig keeps smiling at me as he checks my thick book to see how much further I've gotten in the past few hours. I think I have thrown him off with my frenzy. He's always heard about my love, but never seen it like this. Nice to know there are still surprises ten years later.

Time to go read some more!=0)

Growing Like Weeds...

That's my boys. Getting bigger everyday. I still can't believe Tyler is in First grade even though he has been for about six weeks now. And how well he reads. After I picked him up from school today, we sat on the couch and he proceeded to read me book after book...when did that happen?

And last night, my "baby", decided on his own to use the potty! He walked right over, sat down and went! Up until then he had been very clear that he wanted nothing to do with it, not even because his brothers used one (which I thought would be great motivation. Silly me with one so stubborn!)I'm not holding my breath that the rest will be so easy but it was still such a "big boy" thing to do. Before we know it, we will be out of the diaper stage for the first time in over six years. I can't even fathom it. It actually makes me sad instead of jumping for joy like I feel I should be.

And again I am reminded to enjoy them while they are so young. While we are still in this "young family" stage. Because before I know it, we will be out of this stage and onto the next.