I haven't been able to get on here and blog. Actually, I haven't been able to do anything. I am barely able to keep up with the three other kids, laundry, dishes and general picking up of the house. Alexis takes up most of my day...and to prove a point, I started this blog ohhhh about 6 hours ago but Alexis woke right up and screamed. So now she is in my lap after a feeding, it's almost 9:00 and I am hoping she will sleep a bit until her 10:30 feeding. I admit, I have been having a hard time. I love children, especially babies and especially newborns. This newborn is giving me a run for my money. I am often at a loss on what to do. I always had a certain pride or satisfaction at getting babies to stop crying. To help calm them. This adds to how hard it's been caring for Lexy. She needs to be held all day. She has periods in the day where even when I am holding her, she just screams. And today I was at the point where I was just too tired, to physically and mentally exhausted to get up, walk around and do the bouncing she needed. I sat in the recliner with her instead and just cried. That was a new low. I'm sad because everyone keeps saying, "It will get better". I know it will, what makes me sad is that she will be bigger when it is better. And I don't want to wish this amazing newborn stage away. I want to enjoy it, savor it, like I have done in the past with the boys. I'm also torn wondering if something is wrong with her. Does she have reflux, colic something that can be helped with medication? Is she in pain? I tried calling her pediatrician, left a message but never heard back. Knowing how wonderful she is I am assuming she never got the message.
I am so thankful for those that have encouraged me. Facebook has been a wonderful place for that. I am thankful for those reminding me this to shall pass, I just wish it could pass more peacefully. This is my last baby. I have looked forward to her arrival for what seems like forever and I reeallllly want to enjoy her. I would like to not feel so emotionally drained by the end of the day and not feel like my boys are getting the short end of the stick. And even more simple, I would just like to be able to finish my pregnancy album...do something other then taking care of children or cleaning.
It will get better.....
This is a picture of her last week when I talked about having her fall asleep on the bed while doing laundry!
4 comments:
I'm sorry it's been so hard. It was hard enough just having the one like that, I can't imagine having three others to take care of as well. She is darn cute, though, especially with that flower on her head. Hang in there, my friend! Love you!
what's with this fussy girls?!?! symptoms that sophia has...you can hear her spit up, it doesn't come out, but once it does she makes a horrible face and starts crying. this will wake her up out of a dead sleep. she has a hard time laying flat (is held ALL day). she has bad gas and arches her back a lot. other signs are waking up screaming because they are hungry and the acid in the stomach is more, they eat frantically at first to try to sooth their tummy, but end up getting more air because they are gulping. they want to nurse more often to try to sooth their tummy...not sleeping well.
if you haven't heard from your pediatrician yet, but want to try to see if it's reflux, you can get mylanta, adult version. regular strength, i think it's the cherry kind that doesn't have the aluminum in it. we give sophia (when we need to) 1/4 of a teaspoon up to three times a day.
everything you are saying is how i am feeling too. i sat and cried in the rocker last night as well. i will pray for you when i am feeling overwhelmed, knowing you most likely are feeling the same way.
So sorry to hear about that sweet girl being so fussy! To me all the signs are there for reflux. Connor had it to and once we got him on the meds (I can't remember what the dr prescribed) it was like he was a new baby! Try calling the pediatrician again. It will make you feel better to talk to the dr about the fussiness and hopefully she'll be able to get you some help. I spent many a night crying wondering why my baby was so fussy. Swaddling and shooshing worked the best for an immediate relief but the meds really made the ultimate difference. Good luck, I'm praying for you to get through this soon!
Oh Heidi! I know the feeling. It is funny that I would read your blog today because I am feeling very similar to you tonight. Exhausted, drained emotionally and just wanting to do SOMETHING for myself for just a few minutes!!! I hope that tomorrow is a little better. I will be praying that you will be able to enjoy Lexie during this very short newborn phase. I will pray for you when I am feeling overwhelmed too. :O)
On a good note... She is just too darn cute!!!
Thanks for the new pictures.
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